so let's talk penis.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
