i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
