Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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