your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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