That's intense
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
