so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
