I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
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