we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
