i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
