ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
