don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
