i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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