i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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