Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
