It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize