That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
