Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
