im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
