I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Let's paint friendship bongs
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Can I color on your dick again?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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