Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
