My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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