How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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