"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
