She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize