Just mADE A PArabola og urine
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize