you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
