Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
