What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
