We're facebook friends in real life
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize