I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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