I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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