Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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