Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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