I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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