so explain again why im purple
no
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
