In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
