So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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