dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
