hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
