You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
