JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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