I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
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