I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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