this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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