Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We have so much sex to catch up on
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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