Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
