He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My ass is underappreciated
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
