Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
