At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
