im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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