Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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