i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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