he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
