what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
there's paper in my vomit.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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