our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
