Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
