Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
